Desire 102: A Metaphor for Moving Beyond Our Edges & Averting Self Sabotage

Sometimes having a picture within our mind really helps understand the nuances of situations that trip us up. Here, I share a metaphor for the players and landscape often involved when fear holds us hostage from moving toward our desires.

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[kimberly_garner]: 0:01

Hi, everyone, this is episode Two of the Naked Files with Kimberlely Garner, And today we're continuing our conversation on desire and I want to share a metaphor that I think will be kind of fun for how we experience our desire and then also what's going on when we have a desire that we want. But we get this tightness in our body because we feel like we can't have it, or we can't go after it, or there's something that's holding us back. I love working with metaphor, and having a picture and personifying these different aspects that are alive within us. I find really helps as far as navigation tools for our life. Um, so I just want to repeat a little bit of the key points from our last conversation about desire, because they'll be really important in this conversation making sense. And so our desire is life, pointing our shoulders in the direction of our dreams and our destiny. And and why we are meant to be here. At least that is my strong belief and perspective that our desire is like our finger print, and it is unique to us and what we're meant to experience in our life and it's organic. It's not black and white. It's a curly cue. It's a a markered line that we just scribble on the page. It doesn't have to be a direct line and it's definitely not black and white and it's an ongoing process with layers to it. So our desire is meant for us, and when we speak to desire, there's the big d desire that's related to our inner knowing and our big as self. And then there's the little de desire, which is related to the insecurities of the ego. What we do to fit in what we do to get. Um. So we are um, accepted in in the world in our little world and the world at large. And so that's the little de desire. Um. And there there is a greaty line between that, too, If you really want to treat yourself to something that could be the little de desire, but it could also be the big de desire. So we're having a really soft grip around all of these conversations. Okay, nothing is set in stone. And make sure all of this resonates with your own inner truth. That's very important. Um, so our desire is meant for us. We want to take our desire seriously, and here's why our desire when we ignite our desire, it fuels this energy within us. Okay, so our desires are strongly related to our values and our feelings as to when we align our life with our values, We are going to have more fulfillment in our life. When we go after our desire, we arere going to feel good. We're meant to feel good. Behind every desire is a value to feel good. whether it's freedom, Whether is belonging, whether it's delight. All of our desires behind all our desires have a fee, a desire to feel good. Okay, when we feel good, we light up, we are electromagnetic beings, and when we follow our desire we feel good. When we feel good, we radiate and attract that which we are okay, and for the record we're radiating and attracting that which we are, no matter what, whether we feel good or not, But you rather radiate and attract what you want instead of radiating and attracting what you don't want. Okay, so we're electromagnetic beings and our thoughts steer us in a direction, and our feelings accelerate us in that direction, So our feelings are more important than our thoughts, but our thoughts seed our feelings, so our feelings are important in this, but the feelings are paramount. Okay, and that's why our desire is important. We never want to doubt our own desire. We don't want to marginalize our own desire, and we don't want to diminish, or um, like when I say diminish, We don't want to sideline our desire, but we also don't want to just settle like. Oh, well, I'll just settle for this because my real desire is this. but I don't know if it's realistic or if it's possible. And maybe that's just too much for me to ask. We're going to quiet that little inner voice that makes what we want smaller or makes us feel guilty or that we're not deserving Okay, so just be really aware of when you think about your desire go big. Don't diminish it, don't marginalize it. Don't sideline it, and certainly don't doubt it, And don't expect what you don't want when you're thinking about what you want. Let yourself be that six year old child. That's just I want this and then I want this and I want this and I want this and just let it be as big as it can be. Because the thing about our desire is once we identify what it is, we're so much more likely to get there. If we don't even identify it. We're not going to get there Like don't know your desires. Great, You're not going to get there. That's not great. That's not great. Okay, so today I want to share with you a metaphor because I love thinking in pictures, and like I said, it really helps me. Okay, so if you're driving in your car, don't close your eyes. But if you're not in your car, and if you're in a place where you can just lay down, sit down, relax and close your eyes. I think you'll get more out of this and it's a recording, so if you're driving, you can listen to it now, and you can listen to it again later. Um. okay, so I have some notes here, so if you're watching me on camera, I just know I may look down and look at my news, because I don't want to miss anything and sometimes I tend to go off in wild directions. Um, so we are wired to follow our desire. Our desire is leading us along the path of our natural unfolding. Okay, it's our personal story, our personal heroic story, and our desire is like our internal navigation system in its life saying, Hey, come over here. What about this? Oh, come over here. What about this, and if you think about it like this in terms of it being leading the path of our evolution, once we satisfy a desire, like once we go after our desire and we nail it and we get it. Guess what. we don't want that any morere. We want something different. We want something broader. we want something bigger. So this is why our like fulfilling our desire and going after our desire actively is so important. Because think of all the things that you're going to experience in your life. if you satisfy these desires, it's just going, is going a snowball in the best best way. Okay, And here's the thing. Then everything is love or fear, Right. And and I don't even know if that's an absolute statement. but for me it helps clarify and categorize things. So if everything reduces to fear love, our desire is love. Right, and when we don't go after our desire, when we diminish our desire or sideline our desire or discount our desire, That's fear. we're doing it because there's some belief or something in our head that's related to fear. That's telling us. there's a reason why we shouldn't go after it. So One thing that's important to know about change whenever we consciously want to make a change. subconsciously. our so to our subconscious is being alerted. because our ego and our subconscious does not like change. It does not like the terrain of the unknown, and when we follow our desires, we're going after the unknown. We are treading on the path of the unknown. It's an adventure and we don't know what's ahead. And so the ego in the subconscious is like. Err Where you going? I don't think so we don't make changes around here. We stay with it predictable, we stay with control and we stay within the safe margins of life. and making a decision to do something differently is not going to work because you're going into the danger. zone. And we can't protect you. Our job as ego subconscious is to protect you to make sure you belong and you fit in and you're loved to make sure you are going to survive and you're going to be emotionally comfortable. And if you make changes, we don't have the rule. but for that, so we've got to try to stop you. And so that's why, when we try to make a change and follow our desire, we get freaked out because the ego and the subconscious mind are pulling out all their tricks to get us to stop the crazy train. Okay, so we're going to follow our desire because we want to be plugged in to that juiciness of life. When we do not follow our desire, we feel flat, we feel Ne. we're just not. We're not that engaged with life, because we're not tapped in. We're not living on our edge. Okay, so sit down. get comfortable and bring your imagination with you, so I want you to close your eyes and imagine that you're at the edge of this ravine or this deep crevice and you're moving youre moving along toward what you wanted And you are with F, following your inner voice, and all of a sudden you came up to this edge of this deep ravine and this crevice below you, And if you fall, that's it. I mean you might live if you fall, but man is it gonna hurt and you're gonna get really banged up And you know there is a seventy five to ninety percent chance that you're going to jump over this ravine. Easy, breezy like no problem. Like you're strong. you're capable and you've got your inner knowing on the other side. who's cheerleading You saying hey, you got this like. You wouldn't have gotten this far if you couldn't jump over this ravine like, Just jump and hold out your hand and I will pull you across and your your cake like, Don't worry about it. You've got this okay. So you're standing there on the edge and you're looking down and you're looking down in all of your fear, all of your doubt, all of the things, you're scared of your trepidation, Your dragon. everything is down there and it's like Don't do it, Don't do it. you can't do this. You're not strong enough. You're not capable enough. you are gonna fall on your face. Don't jump and you're standing there on the edge, and just like any canyon, you're hearing the echoes of these voices from below, your doubt and your fear and the dragon, and you're freaked out, But then you've got this eye contact with your inner knowing on the other side and it's just there, calm and it's saying you've got this like, you know you've got this. You know you've got this. Just jump. It's not that big of a gap, and I'll pull you across if it looks like you're filing like you've got this. So you're there on the edge. Know what you want? It's so close. it's so close and all you have to do is move forward. All you have to do is leap toward what you want, But there's that grip inside of you that's so scared of the. What if that? what if that's so small it's like ten to fifth, ten to twenty five per cent chance that you wouldn't make it? It's such a small small chance. everything in your life has brought you to this point. You can do it. You can do it, but you have to trust one. It's meant for you. It's within your reach and you know you have the ability One because life has brought you to this point, but also you' interer, knowing your interner beingeing what you know in your heart of hearts is on the other side. It is like just do this. Just do it. It's not as hard as you're making it okay. And so as you stand there at the edge of the ravine, you feel this nauseas. you feel as grip inside of you, and you can see the ground far below and your fear holds you hostage. Your fear keeps you there, and you are more uncomfortable than you've ever been in your life, because you are so close to what you want and you're so close to your edge and you're so tormented because you want it. So when we experienced discomfort, recognize it is because we're so close we're one step away from being on our path like that, much closer, and we're having to come face to face with all of our fears, And so our discomfort is being separated from what we want. knowing it's within reach, but being separated from it because of our own fear of what if of those stories that are haunting us from our past. Okay, so everything in you wants to jump. Everything in you wants to leave the status, quo. What to leave? The predictable life wants to live in the adventure of the unknown. your doubts, your fears, your trepidations, your dragons are all yelling at you. Do not do this, but that quiet voice inside of you, that inner knowing confidently whispers This is all meant for you. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. This is your moment jump. We will help you, and at that moment you recognize there's a difference between being reckless by being cautious and not taking the risk, and in that moment you decide caution is more reckless than taking the risk with living your life on your torent terms and in to the unknown. So when you are experiencing discomfort, recognize that you're on the edge of that ravine and you're looking deep down into this crevass below you, and all of your doubts, all of your fears, all of your what ifffs, All of your dragons are down in that canyon and they' yelling at you in its echoing and its overwhelming. There's a cacophony happening because you're so close to what you want and all you have to do is realize that being cautious is more reckless than taking a risk. I hope that helps. I hope that shifts your perspective of the value and the significance and the importance of following our desire when we follow our desire. When we encourage every human on the planet to follow their own desire. This world will be a better place. We will be electromagnetically just charging. this world will be radiating who we are, will be attracting what we want and will be encouraging and inspiring other people to do the same. We were born to follow our desire. We were not born to stifle what we wanted. We were not born to get jobs that don't fill us up. We were not meant to live self sacrificing lives and putting our own desires on the sideline. There's a way to lead a meaningful fulfilling life and take care of our own needs and take care of other people. by following what fills us up. We make this world a better place. we make people smile, we light people up without even having to make eye contact with them. I mean that makes it even better in a smile all the better, so take your desire seriously, Be self devoted, and let me know what unfolds in your own adventure. Have a great day.